7.26.2009

weekend overshare: the break up edition.

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One of the most humiliating moments of my life came two weeks ago when I found myself sobbing into a burrito at the mall food court. Alone. I actually laughed at the pathetic nature of it all while it was occurring. (You can laugh, too...it's okay.) And then continued sobbing into said burrito.

Prompting the Great Burrito Incident of 2009 was the ending of my three year relationship to a wonderful dude. Someone who's become the fifth member of my family, a trusty sidekick and one of my closest friends. When it came down to the wire, the next few years of our lives are each tied up in cities that happen to be several thousand miles apart. At this point, we weren't ready to hitch our life trains together and chug down the track to marital bliss.

I spent a few days puffy-eyed, listening to the moody stylings of Marie Digby and avoiding any conversation beyond, "Sure is hot outside!" for fear that I might just come unglued on the spot. There's an obvious sadness about boxing up and putting away a relationship with a truly, truly wonderful guy. Sadness about Gabe's move back to California. Dealing with the vulnerability of being "single" again.

It's odd, though...you're more resilient than you might imagine (minus that crushing burrito incident). Overall, I'm surprisingly okay. Life has gone on, and I'm cheerfully optomistic about the future. Well, outside of my compulsive shopping, normal life has gone on. I've never been an irresponsible shopper, but I will say that I've spent a considerable amount of time shopping in the last two weeks.

And last week, a giant piece of news came. I got accepted into the Interior Design program I've been hoping to pursue. This news has sealed my fate of the next few years: I will transform from gainfully employed girl in a serious relationship, to single, penny-pinching, impoverished, Ramen-eating college student. And I'm determined to enjoy it. :)

18 comments:

  1. oh Bethany, I am so sorry. Hugs. You just shop, girl, and get yourself some more happy and pretty. You have expressed yourself very well and sounds like you are on the way to being ok. xx

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  2. Oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear this! It's gotta be tough on you but it sounds like you've got a great outlook on the whole thing. And congratulations on being accepted into the program, how exciting is that?!? You'll do amazing, you've got a great eye for all things pretty!

    And I've missed your posts!

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  3. Sorry to hear your sad news but it sounds like you are doing ok, I guess it's good sometimes to realise how strong you can be. Congratulations too on your course, that will be so exciting. Take care of yourself!

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  4. Sorry to hear the news but the Lord obviously knows what is in store for you!

    You'll be in my prayers!

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  5. oh! i've been missing your posts and you always hope its for good, busy reasons. i'm sorry for this loss but will share the optimism that you and the other comments have expressed about your nes prospects for school and change.

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  6. sorry to hear about your last few weeks. If it makes you feel better last week I bawled my way through an entire dinner that I went to w/ my husband. It was rather fancy and intimate work dinner with just a few other couples I didn't know and almost everytime someone talked to me I burst into tears. I am sure my husbands business pals think his wife is nuts now.
    I use shopping for therepy too, so if you need some you can head to Mpls and we could wallow together. Congrats on the school- which one? where at? That is so exciting! can't wait to hear more about it.

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  7. i was wondering where you were and i sympathize and empathize with the difficult times - you and gabe were very good about this, i must say - heart wrenching, but i applaud you and i think the school plan sounds liberating and invigorating

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  8. I am so sorry! I actually gasped when I read this post and had to reread it again! You sound like you are doing great though and I am so happy about your interior design adventure!! It sounds like just what you need!!

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  9. Bethany,
    I've been checking in on your blog over the past few weeks and missing your posts... Happy to see you back today, until I read your sad news. The end of a relationship is always so very difficult. You sound so resilient though, and excited about the new path you're setting out on. Enjoy a bit of shopping therapy before the Ramen-eating days begin... Spend that money while you've got it, I say!

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  10. Bless your heart sweetie~! I pray God's best for you~ au re·voir

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  11. Love how your optimism has overshadowed the sadness that I can only imagine that you are experiencing. God knows exactly what He's doing and is filling the emptiness of breaking up with Gabe, with something just for you-a chance to experience a new career field and a way for you to enlist your creativity and use a gift He's already given you. I love you, b. wuerch!

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  12. So sorry about the breakup. I am very excited for you though, based on the glimpses into your apartment, and your awesome sense of style on this blog I know you will make an amazing interior designer. Way to go on chasing after your dreams. I can't wait to see what is to come!

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  13. Ladies, ladies...you are incredible. Especially considering that most of you I know only through your blogs. Thank you so much for all of your fabulous support...I can't put into words how much I appreciate each of you! Every comment just brought me so much sunshine and cheer :)

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  14. Oh Bethany I am so sorry to hear. It is such a difficult thing to go through but it sounds like you are strong about it. In march I broke up with my boyfriend of five years so similar to what you wrote a best friend and a huge part of my life but like you not ready for the marriage thing and so that was that. Four months later I still get lonely at times but also feel so free and independent and happy about the way things turned out. I hope you will feel the same too. Oh yeah and the shopping, well I'm still going : )

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  15. Oh my! So much news just there in that one post! I am so, so sorry to hear of your heartache.....you will get through it, you will, you will. It'll just take time and self love. That does include shopping you know ;)
    Gasp, wow! Interior Design?! I am so jealous! That is just so wonderful xxx

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  16. I was wondering where you'd been!!

    Can't even imagine all of the feelings you're feeling lately; what a crazy time. I caught wind of the break up via facebook, and felt so sad for you but too stalkerish to send my utmost condolences. Was wondering when you and Gabe would tie the knot--lso lame and stalkerish of me. You both have bright futures ahead in other directions and that's perfectly exciting! It sounds like things are ending on good terms and the friendship door is always open? Even if just friends sounds cliche?

    And how fabulous that you're going to interior design school! Beth, I am SO excited/jealous/excited for you!! You're going to be sensational. Kudos for chasing your dreams. :)

    Sorry so long-winded. Just thinkin' of you!

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  17. Hey...it's your sister. I'm really tempted to edit your blog right now or post a blog full of embarrassing stories and photos. Don't forget to log out!!!!

    Love ya, sis!

    Dana

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  18. a perfect example of "when one door closes, another one opens." (is that how it goes?)
    i am so sorry about gabe but at the same time so excited for your new step forward. congratulations!

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