One of the most humiliating moments of my life came two weeks ago when I found myself sobbing into a burrito at the mall food court. Alone. I actually laughed at the pathetic nature of it all while it was occurring. (You can laugh, too...it's okay.) And then continued sobbing into said burrito.
Prompting the Great Burrito Incident of 2009 was the ending of my three year relationship to a wonderful dude. Someone who's become the fifth member of my family, a trusty sidekick and one of my closest friends. When it came down to the wire, the next few years of our lives are each tied up in cities that happen to be several thousand miles apart. At this point, we weren't ready to hitch our life trains together and chug down the track to marital bliss.
I spent a few days puffy-eyed, listening to the moody stylings of Marie Digby and avoiding any conversation beyond, "Sure is hot outside!" for fear that I might just come unglued on the spot. There's an obvious sadness about boxing up and putting away a relationship with a truly, truly wonderful guy. Sadness about Gabe's move back to California. Dealing with the vulnerability of being "single" again.
It's odd, though...you're more resilient than you might imagine (minus that crushing burrito incident). Overall, I'm surprisingly okay. Life has gone on, and I'm cheerfully optomistic about the future. Well, outside of my compulsive shopping, normal life has gone on. I've never been an irresponsible shopper, but I will say that I've spent a considerable amount of time shopping in the last two weeks.
And last week, a giant piece of news came. I got accepted into the Interior Design program I've been hoping to pursue. This news has sealed my fate of the next few years: I will transform from gainfully employed girl in a serious relationship, to single, penny-pinching, impoverished, Ramen-eating college student. And I'm determined to enjoy it. :)