1.20.2010

get thee to a nail salon.

florida042edited.jpg picture by wakeworkrinserepeat

If there is one thing modern princesses have taught me, it is this: when your heart is aching, get thee to a nail salon.

And tonight I did. How Elle Woods of me.

Nail salons aren't places I normally choose to be, but today I chose anywhere but home. Today, for the first time in ages, work was enthralling. Each e-mail, phone call...every busying distraction received a thankful mental kiss from me. My heart dropped when the hands of the clock reached half past four...signaling my need to leave my desk, to tear my mind away from the distractions that had kept my heart on "off" all day. Thankfully, a few blessed errands awaited me this evening, and after completing those I tearfully sunk into the manicure chair.
Tonight I find myself typing from a coffeehouse, avoiding my little apartment. I'd rather be anywhere else in the world than home. Anywhere.

In the weeks of the prince, home was an exciting place. It had a color, an excitement, a life. A place in which I excitedly listened for text messages, phone calls, primped, got ready to see him...rooms in which my heart beat wildly at the thought that I just might have found a man who knew my heart, and perhaps I knew his. Not just the excitement of a new person, but of finding someone with whom I shared a connection like I hadn't experienced previously...a kindred heart and mind that inspired me creatively and otherwise. Now home has returned to it's former disenchanted self: a lonely place in the big, scary world filled with nothing but me. My rambling heart. My bumbling thoughts. Thoughts and theories that used to be shared with him, but now just float about in my mind searching for a resting place. Home is a place I don't want to be for a little while...reminders of my time with the prince permeating each room...each whispering to me that I was naive. That I was silly. That I cared too quickly and too much. And I did.

But, in all of this, I've experienced something beautiful. I've come to believe that people can read heartache...even perfect strangers...and so sweetly reach out. Today was filled with thoughtful, unexpected gestures from those around me: a warm welcoming vanilla latte, a lunch date, a little unforeseen heart-to-heart and the sweetest compliments from a few strangers in the grocery store.

God bless those who are there to pick you up when you fall. To brush away your tears. To softly lift your silly, naive heart...without once telling you how foolish you were to carelessly and unabashedly open it to someone. (That's not to say that the prince was at all unfair, just simply unaware of how very much I cared. I suppose I was unfair in that I didn't express it well to him.) Heartfully I say...God bless those people. A girl like me would not make it a day without them.

Heartache or not, I am blessed. And, in time, I will be okay.

EDIT: Thank you so very much for your gentle encouragement on this and my prior post. Again...the kindness of (mostly) strangers continues to amaze me, and for you, your thoughtful words and sentiments I am so very grateful.

12 comments:

  1. It's amazing how people can do sweet small things at just the right time. I hope you start to feel better soon!

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  2. Blessed, AND with pretty toes. There's something to be said for that!

    Take care of yourself, Bethany, and remember how much you mean to so many, including all of us!

    It's going to be okay, and you are going to meet another prince who will sweep you off your feet in time. I'm sure of it.

    xoxo

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  3. I know you're feeling heartbroken and sad right now and I'm so sorry for that...however, the fact that you gave into your feelings and let yourself care so completely, so quickly is an absolute blessing. It showed you how amazing it feels to let yourself fall and in the process has probably taught you a few things about yourself. I hope the next time you're swept up in these awesome + exciting feelings they're returned tenfold because you so deserve someone special. You are such a good person and I'm certain the right person will be placed in your life at the right time. In the meantime enjoy the journey and the princes that come along with it :-)

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  4. Men are dumb...but one day your prince will come. Hey that totally rhymes :D

    Hope your feeling better after a nice pedicure. Take it slow no one gets over a broken heart overnight. Hugs to you because they help xxx

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  5. People can be so lovely when you need them to be. I'm glad you've had some much-needed support and hope things start looking up for you.

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  6. Now you can put your best foot forward and move on! :) Someday your very own true prince will come. And you wouldn't want to be with the wrong person when that happens! I pray that your heart will heal quickly, sweet girl!
    Blessings!

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  7. Do things to make you feel as happy as you can be Bethany. Paint those nails, take a bath, sing loudly in the car and just give yourself time.

    There is a prince out there for you just unfortunate you have met the frogs on the way!

    We are here if you need us all
    xx

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  8. It's important to treat ourselves when we are feeling down. A little pretty pretty goes a long way sometimes. I swear my single girls make me so thankful I am married now! But you will find that special person.

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  9. oh, bethany! I just read your last post and I'm so sorry you and the prince didn't work out. I have been guilty of caring too much, too quickly, and I know how it can hurt in the end. but I think romance requires risk so... no regrets for opening up your heart. my mother told me this just the other day-- I would be true to myself if I didn't care so much, or like you say, open my heart naively or unabashedly to someone else.

    despite the sadness, how wonderful that you can still see all the blessings and all the good things. focus on that and you are right-- you will be okay.

    hugs! xo~

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  10. oops, that should say I would NOT be true to myself if I didn't care so much...

    you knew what I meant :)

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  11. Amazing blog! You have a truly creative soul. It's a blessing to see that creativity put to work through your photography and autobiographical reflections. Your pictures always tell a story and your musings are a joy to read.

    James

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  12. I just came across your blog and I couldn't help but leave a comment. For some reason I recognise and feel every word you wrote in this post and I just wanted to tell you as 'a perfect stranger' that you will get through this. I know you're hurting and everything around you reminds you of him, makes it hard to breathe and all that, but keep your head up - you are a princess and should be treated as one. One day you will find a guy who will: in the meantime, treat yourself like a princess and live your life to the fullest.

    I really hope you'll be feeling better soon!

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Every time you comment, a unicorn gets his wings. Also, my phone beeps and your words bring me joy. :)

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