Sometimes you think you're being brave and fearless by allowing your heart to be unaffected by the past...by continuing to put it all out there....when infact you're just being silly. To fall back on an-oh-so-handy kitchen analogy: There's a reason why once you've learned that the stove is hot you're much more careful when you use it. Hearts and romance should be the same, yet unfortunately, I haven't quite made that connection. I tend to place my hand, palm side down, directly on the burner for several seconds...and continue to find myself wildly surprised when...(gasp!) it hurts. Then there I sit, with an enormous chai latte in hand, with one more person imprinted on my heart, and I not on theirs...just wondering where I went wrong.
I know I'm overly anxious for a sweet, God-loving man who so desires to know my heart the way I desire to know his. Somedays more than others, it just feels so endlessly far away. But I know that when I find that...if I should find that...it will be amazing. And, all this will make me appreciate him, whomever he is and wherever God has him, so very much more.
However, in the meantime, I am certain that when I arrive on a first date, I should be wrapped in that post-office tape that reads, "EXTREMELY FRAGILE! HANDLE WITH CARE." Perhaps this will draw the needed attention and care to my oh-so-delicate heart. :)