Strangely enough, I noted in my mind that today was an exquisitely drippy day, the type of melancholy weather in which an author would set a character amidst a small loss.
Just minutes after this storybook-indulgent thought, my father lost his job.
Parental vulnerability is frightening. It's a role reversal--a moment in which you, the child, experience a sudden pulse of pure, selfless love so intense that you'd previously only believed a parent could feel for their child. An emotion you'll feel toward a child of your own someday. Instinctively, you're pulled- wanting to drop every swirling responsibility to run and assure endlessly that it will all work out.
But, the truth is, you're 23. And you're far too young to know if everything in life truly does work out.
Often, I pop the screen out of my bedroom window, crawl across the roof and lie there alone, cloud watching as far-fetched dreams fill my silly head. This is what I was doing a few days ago when I snapped this photo. But, today these distant, weighty clouds feel fitting with my heart. The sun will peek out and a beautiful sky will return tomorrow, I'm sure of it. But today...today my heart feels heavy and I simply cannot fake sunshine.