8.29.2011

i believe in mondays.


I happened upon the perfect candle for my new desk set-up, deliciously scented and an impeccable mix of gold, black and white. But they were out of  the letter B and W. There were lots of the letter C, though.

"Darn. It's too bad I'm not a C," I thought.

And then it hit me: in 10 months I will be a C. Bethany Contreras. And I just smiled while I typed that.

Those "I'm getting married!" moments have started to happen--and they're at the strangest times. Like while buying a candle. Getting a wedding planning CD mix from my friend Jamie. Or a handpainted wedding parasol from my girl Lizzie Beth. A wedding invitation for "The Future Mr. and Mrs. Contreras".

But, I've struggled with the name change. Romantic as a new last name is, my sis and I are the end of the line for our surname and I'm sentimental about leaving it behind, odd a name as it is. After a long, thoughtful process of considering various name-change options, I'm firm.

I believe in taking his name. Bethany Contreras I shall be. And this little candle is warming me up to the idea. (Pun not intended.)


P.S. I'll be back tomorrow with my office remodel! It's been a fun task and I'm seriously lovin' how it turned out. But, I'm working on fixing up a desk chair and taking a tad longer than I hoped. :)

22 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. I'm very traditional, so I never thought I'd have trouble changing my name when getting married. But, when the time came, I did have some moments of sadness and thoughts of other name combos, too. And I even have a brother to carry on my maiden name, so I can't imagine how difficult it would be to be the end of the line so to speak. But what a cool sign to find the "C" candles to give you some excitement and a sort of confirmation about the upcoming change! Thanks for sharing!

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  2. The name change is so weird. A year later, I still haven't gotten used to the way it sounds and I haven't perfected my signature. And, I'm still finding stuff that I never changed my name on. I do get a warm, fuzzy feeling though, when I see something printed with Mrs. and my new name though!

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  3. It's a weird feeling, changing your named. In 5 days I'll be "Kate Shapiro" and everyday I'm clinging to "Springer" and saying to myself, "5 more days left as a Springer..". It's exciting and scary and sad and happy all wrapped in one! Luckily, my initials stay the same!

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  4. The name change thing would be a mental struggle for me too.

    So glad the music arrived and you liked it - I believe all good planning is made better with the right background music.

    Sadly I also believe that the day you plan to have your new DL photo taken you will wake up with a random zit in a very visible place. Wish me and my concealer good luck this afternoon.

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  5. I had the same thoughts when I got married (a year ago this coming Sunday!). I'm the end of the line for the Lee Murch name. Jennifer told me a long time ago that I couldn't ever get married and would have to adopt a boy. Well, that didn't work out! I proudly took on the Hovda name though. And a year later, I still love it! In fact, I just hung up a gorgeous "H" plaque in my kitchen. Kevin thinks it's weird, but I love it!

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  6. It took me 8 months after we got married to change my name and it made me sad. I think because women are single longer then they use to be your maiden name means a lot more to your identity. It was hard to lose mine and for a long time my new name seemed like a stranger to me. But then I realized that I was changing too and so maybe the new name didn't fit then but it fits more and more every day. And knowing it was the name my kids were going to have made it seem more important that I have it too : )

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  7. It suits you. Bethany Contreras. I like it! Just don't ever let anyone call you Mrs Gabriel Contreras... I got some mail for Mrs Alan Pugh one time and refused to open it!

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  8. I totally know how you feel about the name-change, Bethany. I have been mulling over it for a while. What makes me more flustered is that everyone else who posted here was all "it had to be done, even though I didn't like it at first."

    Does it really HAVE to be done? Why can't the male change names for the female? It just always confused me.

    Anyway, glad you found the lightness in he subject with the "C" candle :)

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  9. I find Erin's comment very funny as here in England it is quite proper to address you using your husbands first name but with Mrs in front! Probably very old-fashioned though.

    I like the way the candle will be there to gently remind you as time passes and you get closer to your wedding day.
    xx

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  10. You probably already know this Beth--but when Steph and I got married we also struggled with loosing our last name, especially since my Dad was "blessed" with all girls. So, we both added "Ahrens" to our legal middle names. (Eg. "Stephanie Christine Ahrens Bernthal" It confuses some, particularly the DMV...but it's a nice alternative to giving up the name!

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  11. I feel you on the change of surname. I love my maiden name and JEGs and battled a little bit about me changing it. Finally, I sucked it up and took his name.

    However, professionally I am still Ms. M. ;)

    LB

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  12. Hello Bethany, I love your blog, thanks for writing it!
    I'm Italian and my husband is Spanish: in Italy and in Spain women don't change their legal name after marriage. I was a little shocked when I discovered that in other western countries wives give up their own last name to take the husband's... maybe it's a cultural thing, but this tradition seems unfair and a bit sexist to me... I don't mean to criticize your choice, just to offer a different point of view.
    Sorry for my poor English.

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  13. I'm in the same boat as Kendra- my father had all girls and passed away when we were little. Giving up my maiden name was too emotional, so now it is added to my legal middle name. It was a simple part of the last-name changing process, and I'm so glad I did it. Something to consider!

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  14. The name change is really strange. I still say my maiden name when people ask for my name so I think a lot of women get sentimental with their last names.
    I think it's cute that you were able to get the candle though. Just another step into your new life of wedded bliss!! x

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  15. I love this. I have no problem AT ALL changing my name. In fact, I wish I could do it now.

    First, I hate my last name. It's terrible. When I was in elementary school and they called kids over the intercom they always said "sewer" instead of "seward". Plus, people always put a "T" in the name and say "Steward" or "Stewart".

    Second, I can't wait to not be associated with my family. That sounds terrible but you know my relationship with my dad is sort of broken.

    Third, I want to take on every part of Noah that I can. Lizer is a much cooler last name in my opinion and I love his family.

    I never really thought about having it so good never needing to make a decision. A lot of my professors kept their last names because they had research under their maiden names. It really should go either way not just the girl taking the name. In my case I just really would rather take his.

    Yay for a new name and a new phase in life!

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  16. I loved my maiden name and tried to get my husband to combine our two last names together. His last name is "Tulli" and mine was "Colecchi" so I thought we could have it legally changed to "Colluli". I thought it was a brilliant idea, but my hubby never warmed up to the notion. Oh well, I love my new last name now, and at least his last name was still Italian like my maiden one!

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  17. I got a K candle too a few weeks ago and it melted my heart! I can't wait and little moments like that really do mean the world!

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  18. It took me a year to change my name, and I just did it two weeks ago. I am a teacher and taught a year with my maiden name AFTER getting married. I kept hoping my hubby would open up to alternative ideas. In the end, it was more important to me to have a cohesive family name with children someday than to keep my name but it is so frustrating that this is the women's problem.
    And now I am having to reteach 460 kids my new name and then explain that "no I actually got married a year ago..."

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  19. Ah, the name conundrum. I was hesitant to take Tiho's last name just because it's so long and, well, Eastern European. I'm also attached to my last name: it's short, cute and great for teaching. Like some of the commenters here, I also struggle with the patriarchal aspect of a woman taking her husband's name. Tiho couldn't care one way or the other and left the decision entirely up to me. In the end, I wanted us to have the same name for symbolic reasons, and for our future children. I legally signed it over last week when we filled out the marriage license. It will be official when we tie the knot at the end of September. I have a few more weeks to get used to the sound and more importantly, to perfect my new signature ;-)

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  20. I'm going to be sad when I go from Bwandi Carpenthair to Bwandi Lenzen. :) I am a legacy by that name! hehe, but I'm excited to be Matthew's wife also! I really really really want that gold swan! hahaha! What do you think of the name Odette? :) ugh.. can you just blog all day? come to my house and re-do it would ya?!

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  21. this is too cute! new reader, I loved the way you asked you're bridesmaids to take part in your wedding and I love your office space.

    xoxo
    josslynn nicole

    josslynn1989.blogspot.com

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