11.13.2011

time.


Oh my.

Last Tuesday I noticed weeks passed since I last picked up my camera, or shared anything truly personal in this space. Then, after receiving reader emails ensuring I was still alive, I realized how badly I needed to get back here!

Time has just slipped by. Granted, I've been busy, but in the past I always made time for blogging...it happened organically, like remembering to eat lunch or hugging an old friend hello. Yet over the past two months, my urge to share just dried up. It was strange. I've gone over and over it: Have I changed creatively? Am I just being lazy...or have I gotten boring? Am I no longer a creative girl?

But, then it hit me. For the past two months, my emotional energy was thrown into attacking what had bankrupted my joy. Time I once spent blogging was given over to journaling personal thoughts, facing memories, attending twice-weekly counseling sessions. Some days, I want to share that experience--my breakdown, seeking help and the recovery. It's now a part of who I am. But, a piece of me quietly says no. Some things are too personal...and I don't possess the creative ability to express it.

The latter is likely true.

Regardless, I'm returning to this space...close to girl I always was, but a bit stronger and more self aware. Kindly bear with me if I read a like a newborn fawn on his wobbly first walk...

...I'm just learning to trust my own creative legs once again. :)

15 comments:

  1. There you are! I've been thinking about you, Bethany. So glad to see you back.

    xoxo

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  2. So glad you're back, Bethany! Your guest blogger post on my blog went up last week, to rave reviews! HUGS (and thanks again!!).

    http://elizaoverthemoon.blogspot.com

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  3. Glad you are back Bethany and hope things are getting better xx

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  4. So glad to see you back *Hug* missed you!

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  5. I'm now picturing this delicate little fawn wobbling along wearing big fabulous sunglasses.

    I'm so glad to see you back round here and am glad you're putting yourself first :)

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  6. Bethany,
    You've been so open with us about so many things in your life, but you're right - not everything has to be shared with everyone. You'll find the balance, as you have before, and we'll go with you, quietly supportive or with raucous applause.
    It's good to hear from you again.

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  7. Welcome back gorgeous :) I was wondering where ya were! Glad to see you're workin' those creative juices again. We missed you.

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  8. we've missed you! i know i appreciate anything you do decide to share. those legs won't steer you wrong :)

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  9. Just discovered your blog. I think we're soul mates. I grew up in WI and I too love cake! Who doesn't?! Check out my site if you get a chance! Best to you!
    www.megansilianoff.blogspot.com

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  10. i've been thinking about you (but luckily knew you were alive thanks to twitter) :)

    i'm SO glad you are focusing on what's important right now. of course, if blogging fills a creative void, then do it. but if you don't have the time/space in your head at the moment, then don't fret. we all love you and will be happy no matter when you 'come back'

    i know it's silly, but i heard someone make this analogy once... you know how on airplanes they say you have to put on your air mask before helping others (presumably so you don't conk out and are unable to help yourself or others). it's the same. you have to be able to help yourself before you can begin to think of others. and i like to think you 'help' each and every one of us with your powerful, emotional, heartfelt words each time you post. but you have to take care of yourself first and foremost, so then you can be in a place to spread the cheer outwards.

    best of luck!!!!

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  11. I've been thinking of you. I'm glad to see you posting again.

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  12. I'm so so glad you're back!! :) I hope things get better! <3

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  13. I have missed you greatly, my dear. You make my corner of the blogging world a better place, and I'm glad you're feeling a newfound strength, and that you're willing to share that strength with us readers! You're an amazing woman, and I'll be glad to have you back on my regular reads (or obsessive refreshing) list. :)

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  14. It's totally understandable that you've taken an unexpected break from blogging!

    I am glad you are back.
    I hope and pray that your journey as a writer, artist, and lovely gal continues beautifully even through the hard stuff.

    Blessings,
    Sarah

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  15. Oh girl, you just keep on shining that beautiful spirit of yours. We're all here whenever you can be.

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Every time you comment, a unicorn gets his wings. Also, my phone beeps and your words bring me joy. :)

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