3.06.2012

a few cloudy days.


(two month anniversary flowers from gabe)

People often ask me how I handle being away from my husband for months at a time. I'd say 29 out of 30 days, my answer is true and honest:

"You learn! You think about the positives, you count the days til you see each other again and you keep yourself busy. It's not as bad as it sounds."

But then there's that one day where you feel it all. The day when everything at the grocery store seems seventeen feet tall, and I wish my husband were here to reach it. Or when my little apartment feels a bit big and lonely.

Usually I keep quiet about all those moments, both on and offline. Mostly because I don't want to be seen as someone who throws herself pity parties, when she's actually pretty blessed. But I've learned there's a difference between whining about how unfair life is, and being emotionally honest. Having feelings and acknowledging them in an honest, appropriate manner isn't whining. It's being human. We all have days when the path we've chosen isn't easy. And it's okay to say so.

None of us live on a rainbow.

We're all human. And life is better when we just admit we might need a hug. ;)

21 comments:

  1. *hug*

    ps. your husband has beautiful taste in flowers!

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  2. Sending hugs your way today, Mrs C!
    xo

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  3. Long time reader, first time commenter. First of all, what beautiful flowers!
    Second, I definitely agree that although we may feel blessed with how fortunate we are, that doesn't mean we don't deserve to have "down" days where we feel sad. It's ok to feel that way. There are a lot of inspirational quotes out there (pinterest!) that sometimes make a person feel guilty for not being happy 100% of everyday. I can only imagine how much it stinks to have your husband gone so much of the time.
    Keep up the great job you do on your blog. I have really enjoyed reading it!

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  4. Love this post. So true and applies to many parts of our lives. Hang in there girl. Sending hugs (xo)

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  5. This was so inspiring! I needed this reminder.

    "There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
    a time to be born and a time to die,
    time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace." (Ecclesiastes 3)

    :)

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  6. love the flowers!
    glad you're sharing your feelings with us :)
    hope all of our virtual hugs are enough!

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  7. Lovely flowers!

    We all need to have those days sometimes. Life is tough even when we are fortunate. Sending hugs!

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  8. love your honesty. There definitely a difference in whining and being honest. sending hugs your way from Utah.

    xoxo
    Carley

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  9. He is very good at picking out beautiful flowers for you!

    Hugs to you, Bethany! =)

    I like that you are being honest and that there is a difference in honesty and pity-party seeking. =)

    -Sarah

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  10. sending lots of love your way. you're so strong! and it takes that strength to admit the realization between pitying yourself and just being honest. it is harder to do the second, while trying to be grateful for all the other wonderfulness in your life, but you chose that because you're strong enough to do so :)

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  11. I'm sure you didn't mean to get Rainbow connection stuck in my head. But you did.

    (And you're so right. Being honest isn't the same as whining. You're entitled to that 29th day of reality.)

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  12. I love this Bethany! And I do agree, I've always felt that it's important to have those emotions and once you've felt them, it can really be helpful. It always seems to work for me :) beautiful flowers btw. take care!

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  13. Wish I could send hugs over the internet Bethany... Noah and I are getting used to coming home at 6:30 (or later) and going to bed at 9pm, leaving less than three hours together during the day and that feels hard to me but that is nothing in comparison to what you and Gabe do! I think that long distance can work only if you're incredibly committed and you both clearly are.

    Expressing emotions honestly is so important. I could connect so much with the words that you wrote - where it feels like you're having a pity party for yourself. Sometimes days are just REALLY hard and we need to talk to someone about them. Plus, if more people talked about their bad days maybe we wouldn't feel so down about our lives because we would realize everyone else's life isn't perfect either and we're all doing the best we can.

    I'll be thinking of you and crossing my fingers that you can at least get some great girl time in this week!

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  14. Sending virtual hugs your way Bethany!

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  16. sending a hug your way!

    my fiance & i were long distance for a couple of times over the past two years, & i know it isn't easy.

    and i completely agree about being emotionally honest - there is a HUGE difference between that & whining. i think that it's important to share our trials & difficulties - shows how well-rounded we all are :)

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  17. i know just what you mean. that one day where the weight of the world is on your shoulders but you feel bad bringing it up because things could be a thousand times worse. feel free to email me on that one super lonely day, if you'd like :) one military fiance to another (now-wife :), i will listen to you whine all you want :)

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  18. If you ever need someones' shoulders to stand on so you can reach the Ben&Jerrys on the top shelf, I'm your gal.

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  19. Love that picture!

    I was just in the alt class with you and thought I would check out your blog! It is so cute!

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  20. I think this time away will only serve to strengthen your relationship with Gabe and will make you really appreciate him when he's home.

    I love your honesty, Bethany. It's refreshing to hear someone say what's on their mind without it sounded whingy or b*tchy.

    x Jasmine

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