4.19.2012

one, two, three...things about we.

(above my stove...a little salt and pepper collection)

Yesterday, Gabe and I set off on a grocery shopping voyage and bumped into a family friend I hadn't seen in at least a decade. Of course I was unshowered, no make up and wearing yoga pants. She was kind enough to tell me I looked great...(I love a good white lie!)...I smiled self consciously, and introduced her to my husband. 

Being from a smaller town and small social circle, she had heard about how we met, our travel-crazy relationship and long-distance first months of marriage. How adventurous and amazing!, she said. I laughed...telling her that this was of our real adventure: our first married week that wasn't our honeymoon or in a foreign country. A week of living-in-the-same-space, dishes-to-wash, groceries-to-buy, the-whole-nine-yards kind of week.

We're learning a lot, I said, laughing some more. And we are. Here's the top three things I learned in Real Life Marriage Week 1:

One: Two people in a twin bed do not a comfortable night make. My life has been lived in small, vintage apartments, and so I've held on to my tiny twin bed to save space...I've slept alone in a twin for as long as I can remember. Upgrading to a larger bed just seemed like poor space planning! That lasted about three nights once Gabe got here.

After we both woke up with awful back pain and in need of a nap by 2pm, we realized twin-bed-sharing was a terrible idea. Enter my twin-size air mattress...also too small for two people. So, we've been rocking what we call the "Ricky and Lucy": married couple, separate beds. Tres romantique, I know. ;)

Two: My husband is a much better person than me. He just is. Truly, I wish that was the honeymoon phase talking...I wish I could secretly think, "I'm just being nice. I'm actually the better person." But I can't. Example? Last night while I was feeling sick, he walked away from the show he was watching to scrub the tub and draw a hot bath for me. I probably wouldn't do that...ever. For anyone. Oh, and also: he took the air mattress. Better Person Award. It's plain ol' fact.

Three: There's a bit of control freak in me. Adapting from living on my own to being a team, to duel-ownership is sort of strange. And it usually flares up over the silliest things: I spazzed a bit when Gabe put a five pound bag of baby carrots in the cart.


"Five POUNDS? Did we get a bunny no one told me about? That's, like, four dollars of unneeded carrots!"

Who cares that much about excess carrots? Apparently, me. Because we're on what has been "my turf" for years, it's a little tricky to flip that switch and automatically think of this as "our" space now. But the good thing is, I usually catch myself thinking those "me" thoughts, realize it doesn't matter anymore and toss it out. The carrot incident was one of the few that have slipped through...


In short...if Real Life Marriage Week 1 was a class, Gabe would be getting an A, and I'd probably score a B- with a "shows potential, but needs improvement" notation in the margin. ;)

22 comments:

  1. This post made me smile, Bethany.
    It's such a good reminder that marriage isn't all rose-tinted moments, fresh flowers, and the beautiful. In reality it is so much more than that and the best love is being willing to live selflessly. It's learning and growing and loving together.


    P.S. That picture is lovely too!

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  2. I love this. You're so right, and it's the best adventure.

    Also, I still think you are right about the carrots. No one needs that many carrots. Gabe will turn orange, and we can't have that, unless ya'll are moving to the Jersey Shore. FIST PUMP!!!

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  3. Too hilarious! My fiance and I have lived together for a little over two years now and I still relate to this!

    At least Gabe picks carrots. Jeff chooses the 72 oz bag of peanut m&m's. I love me some m&m's but let's be serious!

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  4. I highly doubt you would really get a B- in such a class, but the fact that you are willing to say that and identify where you think you need improvement gives you an A for effort at the very least! You are both so lucky to have each other and I'm happy for your happiness! Enjoy week 2 of normal married life!

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  5. Cute post and right on target!
    (The B- sounds a bit harsh, though.) Cut yourself some slack - sharing space takes some getting used to... And just think - if you can manage the Ricky and Lucy arrangement in your little apartment the next move (to where/what ever) will be a piece of cake.
    Enjoy!!

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  6. Cute post and right on target!
    (The B- sounds a bit harsh, though.) Cut yourself some slack - sharing space takes some getting used to... And just think - if you can manage the Ricky and Lucy arrangement in your little apartment the next move (to where/what ever) will be a piece of cake.
    Enjoy!!

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  7. I miss those firsts, thank you for sharing yours!

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  8. This is too funny! I loved this post. I remember going through the same changes when we moved in together.

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  9. Lol oh Beth. You would be surprised at how everyones first weeks are.....sounds like another adventure has begun for you two. Best of luck! And truly love only becomes stronger after a few unnecessary outbursts. It makes a better you to know that they are unnecessary and it just shows just how much your husband goes to love you even during the crazy second personality moments. :)love <3!

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  10. agree with the twin bed thing.
    try sharing up loft style.
    scared for my life i tell ya!

    and i think your married life sounds so beautiful and real and honest.
    i love hearing about it!

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  11. Made me laugh!! I love love love your blog! Brightens my day! :)

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  12. Living with someone else is tough at first! When Matt and I moved in together, after two years of dating, I was amazed to discover how much there was to get used to. I'll admit, we bickered a lot at first. But now, two years after the move-in, we are so good at living together. And that's how you guys will be in no time!

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  13. lol I can'r even remember living alone it's been 6 years now I have had to share a bed, put up with a ridiculous amount of extra ounce bags that we have no where to store as they are just too big .... oh and may i add he never ever manages to finish ... men and women we are funny things ... either way though i would never want to go back to living by myself ....

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  14. LOVE this. I'm so glad you and Gabe are getting real, married time together and are officially starting your adventure.

    Noah and I totally did the twin bed thing while we lived in dorm rooms in college. So not easy with a guy who's 6'6.

    Plus, I agree completely on #2. I think guys lets things roll off of them more easily whereas girls are more likely to hold grudges. Consequently, guys are often better at relationship stuff. I truly think Noah is a GIFT to me for being kind, always.

    Yay yay yay for you and Gabe!

    PS - Good luck with the carrots.

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  15. The desire to be better is the most important part.

    You two are darling. I'm so happy that you're together and getting to discover what everyday marriage is all about.

    (oh and PS: Boston! Awesome!)

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  16. Oh my! This made me giggle. I loved the yoga pants bit. We live in a small town as well and I've given up on making sure to be made up each and every trip to the store. So funny.

    Love your little shares. I would have to say that my husband is also the nicer half. I could learn a few things from him! ;)

    Lots of love! Thinking of you!

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  17. oh dang, i thought i commented yesterday! but i can totally relate to the tiny bed thing. we've been sharing a twin bed off and on since we started dating 3 years ago, but when my fiance moved out of his parents and into his own place, we decided it was time for a bigger bed. butttt then we realized how much mattresses cost. so we pushed together two twins, bought a king size memory foam thing and bottom sheet and now it's perfect! maybe you guys could try that with the air mattress and the real one? :)

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  18. This is a really cute post! And I absolutely LOVE the bunting!!!!

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  19. This is the loveliest post! I laughed out loud, and now I'm also a little close to tears because it reminds me so much of my relationship - though me and my darling slept in that twin bed for nine months. I'm not joking. Back pain ensued, but on the bright side we always made up immediately after fights - after all, you can't go to bed angry if you're required to spoon your partner in order to fit in the bed!!

    Happy happy marriage to you - I'm excited to read about all your adventures to come!

    xxx,
    Alexandra

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  20. love this!! I'm glad you guys have been able to experience this real adventure together! I know what you mean about having to change a bit to dual living space etc. great job for your first week!!! :)

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  21. Love the post and I love the hippo salt and pepper shakers! Where'd you find them?

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