(breakfast on my porch)
When I was a little girl, I just thought being a "grown up" meant you had a lot of money to spend, a husband to change lightbulbs + carry heavy things and no one told you when to go to bed.
Two of those things are true.
But it also means making decisions about the future and sticking your plan, even when it gets tough. For us, our dream has been to live abroad before starting a family. The path to that destination was paved with spending the first three months of our marriage apart--Gabe worked a limited-term job in Kuwait, and searched for another job abroad where I could join him.
I'd be lying to you if I said that was easy. It wasn't. Even for long-distance pros like us, being freshly married and apart was an entirely different ballgame. But, we clung onto this silly little hope that sacrificing for a few months would pay off in a dream-come-true. As the weeks ticked by, we realized how few jobs were available abroad due to funding cuts in Gabe's field. He was in the final phases of a hiring process for a new job, when all new hiring for the company was frozen. We kept hoping some miracle would come through in the final days, but it didn't.
So, Plan B has gone into effect: Dip into our savings account to pay the mortgage + my final month's rent in Wisconsin. Gabe would come home and continue searching for a job, I'll pack up my things. We'll be ready to jet the second he gets a job offer to....anywhere that pays the mortgage.
I suppose that's mostly why I've been silent for the past week. Because life is changing, and it's not following my meticulously thought-out Plan A. It's unpredictable, scary and all those things you never really realized came with adulthood. Like I've said before, we choose our life path...and deal with the circumstances of those choices. You don't get to play the victim. You just don't. When I feel negatively about our circumstances, I keep my mouth shut. Like I did for the past week.
But, yesterday my husband came home to me in Wisconsin. It wasn't in Plan A, but after months apart, I cannot express the joy I felt the second I saw him at the airport. No matter what happens...we have each other. It's a tough lesson to learn, but these unplanned, uncertain days have taught me this: if you have someone to love, someone to make lemon cake for, to share your tiny twin-size bed in your teeny-tiny apartment...
...you have it all.