(twinkly lights in Boston, taken while walking home from Fenway)
I'm about two weeks behind in social media life. When we were in Boston, I stepped away from everything but Instagram and the occasional Facebook photo share. It was nice. But I'm still catching up on emails, blog reading, blog writing...at a slow pace between packing and such.
Which is why I'm finally reading everyone's "Things I'm Afraid to Tell You" posts. I love them. I'm guilty of buying into the belief that other bloggers' lives are sunshine + unicorns, because they consistently curate all kinds of beautiful life moments. And also guilty of feeling like my life has to be that put together to be a part of the blogworld.
I'm jumping on the sharing bandwagon. So, here we go:
1. I worry that I won't do anything with my life. Honestly, I'm not a confident girl. (Example: I've never seen photos, but in my mind, all my husband's exes were Heidi Klum look-a-likes...and he got stuck with frumpy ol' me.) Admittedly, I'm that girl who believes everyone else is more intelligent, more creative, has a more interesting perspective, can do it better. Deep down, I know I have a few talents to put to use, but my biggest fear is I'll finally gain that needed confidence when opportunities to use those skills have already passed me by.
2. When I'm home alone, I use paper plates. And plastic flatware. Because I hate dishes that much. If you see a photo here with food on a REAL plate...that was just for you. Just a lil' treat for your eyes. ;)
3. My weight yo-yos all over the place. Since getting married, I've had a 25 pound weight variance. I'm aware that I should also see a doctor about it, but I've got this inconvenient fear of doctors, hospitals and the like. I'll also admit that I've sidestepped a fair number of social situations, save those with family or really close friends, because I just don't feel great about myself. Finally, I'll admit that I rock a lot of yoga pants due to this whole situation...which is why you probably haven't seen a lot of photos of me in recent months. I avoid them.
4. I still drive the car I bought when I was 17, The Blue Beast. It's so not glam. It is rusty. It makes terrible noises. And there are all kinds of quirks: the dashboard light doesn't come on, the driver's side window doesn't roll down and sometimes the blinker makes clicking noises for no reason at all. But I paid it off years ago, and the insurance is $38 a month. So I keep it.
5. In face to face life, I'm not fabulous at being emotionally vulnerable. Sometimes Gabe doesn't even know what's going on in my head, until it's spelled out here. (I let him read the "preview" before I hit publish!) I'm not that precious or demure in person! Well, I'm kind and upbeat. But I'm a little loud, and not afraid of a dirty joke or a cuss word. This blog is just where I dock the quieter side of myself, the part that's more difficult to show in real life.
6. I've worried people will stop reading because I'm moving to Kuwait, where life will be less pretty. There. I said it. And it sounds just as awful and self-involved as it did in my head. We'll be in a company-issued furnished apartment, and it's not attractive. Even my kind mother had nothing nice to say about the apartment photos. Add that to the fact that I can't take photos in public places in Kuwait, or even wear clothes I enjoy since showing a shoulder or knee is frowned upon...and you can bet I already had a crying meltdown on my husband's shoulder. I'm just not sure how I'm going to fit in, or feel creatively fulfilled in Kuwait. Publically, I've been keeping my crap together about this whole move. But behind closed doors, I've been a mess at times. But it's something I've got to figure out once I'm there.
Whew. Alright. That's all for now. Off to go layer plates and bubble wrap.
As always, thanks for hanging around here. :)